FEELINGS WITHIN.

"Is this really necessary?" I asked as I looked around. I was in Dr. Meyer's living room, lying on her couch, prepping for a session. Dr. Meyer is my next door neighbour and a psychologist. Licensed psychologist. Her living room was chaotically organized, giving away that the home had some children in it. There was a pile of bedrocks in one corner and a pile of cushions in another. Some toys were neatly put away in yet another corner but there were also some scattered around randomly posing a tripping hazard. I collected my thoughts. "I don't think this is necessary, Jane," I said. Jane was Dr. Meyer's first name.

"Oh relax. I'm not going to literally pick your brain. You just look so tense and I can't have my assistant tense now, can I? Sends the wrong message to my patients. We're a team, Perry," she said.

"But I'm not your patient, Jane, besides, many other people have been dumped. Honestly, I can get over it. It'll take some time, sure but I'll get there."

"So you're okay that Michael broke up with you?"

I paused pensively. I remembered that day all too clearly. Maybe because hardly even a week had passed. On that material day, which happens to be last Wednesday, I had taken ill, and I was in a bit of a mood. Michael, charming prince that he is, came all the way to baby sit me and make sure I was as comfortable as I could get. He stayed till the evening when he headed home - and broke up with me.

Back to the present, I closed my eyes and sighed dramatically. I opened my eyes. "Yes, Jane, I am OK."

"He promised to be with you yesterday, on Valentines..."

I cut her short. "Valentines is over-rated, Jane!"

"So you're absolutely fine? Nothing you want to share with me?"

"These toys are a tripping hazard," I said, motioning to one.

"Oh those ones. My son Jay, I can never get him to put them all together, he always leaves some behind."

"Maybe you should let him trip on one, see how he likes it."

"Very funny!"

I sat upright. "Your couch is very comfortable but I'll go home now."

"Perry, wait. Why don't you try writing down how you feel."

"You mean one of those feelings letters?"

"Yes, exactly. No one ever has to read it, just get everything out..." I got lost in my thoughts as she droned on and on. A long awkward silence informed me that she had finished speaking.

"Sure thing. Have a nice evening Jane." I said as I left.

What Jane didn't know is that Michael had actually come over on Saturday, expecting an apology from me, waiting for me to ask him to take him back. I didn't, and it made me angry that he broke up with me and disappeared for around 3 days before showing up unceremoniously on my doorstep, acting like nothing happened.

I switched on the lights as I got into my house. I looked around. My living room looked like it had been hit by a tornado, and no, no kids. I sighed. "I need to arrange this place," I mused. I went into the kitchen, took a beer from the fridge, doubled back into the living room and put on season 5 of Modern Family to watch. I set myself comfortably on the bedrocks - no couch - and readied myself for a marathon of two gay dudes with a Vietnamese kid, an old dude with a trophy wife and a guy who got a wife by accidental conception but now has three kids with her. There was a foolscap on the table. I thought about what Jane had said about a feelings letter. "It's not such a bad idea," I thought to myself. I picked up the foolscap and a pen and started writing.

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